Persona Conspiracy Theories
by ClearlyOriginal
Summary: Persona Conspiracy Theories is here for you to answer various mind boggling question you have ever had in your time of being a persona fan. i recommend giving it a read, because it will blow your mind.


Hello everyone, reincarnated minato here and welcome to a brand new original fanfic

a fanfic that no one ever thought of before, no one that ever done before and

no one asked for

it's a fanfic discussing about various persona conspiracy theories.

Clearly i'm being original here, so praise me, dudes.

Anyway, as a celebration to this brand new original fanfic,

let's talk about...actually, wait.

I have a theory.

A spooky theory.

And it's about how Minato Arisato or Makoto Yuki or however the fuck you want to call him

actually died at the end of Persona 3.

and it's not as sad as it made it out to be.

Oh no. nope.

What actually happened is more terrifying. More spooky. More scarier than you think.

And believe me it's not the Illuminati.

Because that is a stale meme...wait I mean theory that has been proven false time after time

even I have files on top of files to attack you with if you say illuminati is the one who fucking did it

did what though?

Well, you came here to find out

and I'm here to tell you all about it.

You see here it's all started when Minato started to listen to vaporwave.

Wait, what's vaporwave you ask?

Well, just fucking search on google you lazy dog bee wannabee.

But if you're still too lazy to search it on google even after that sick roast.

Here's what it is.

It's kinda of gay music genre that's all about aesthetics. Beauty and all that stuff.

Just listen to MACINTOSH PLUS - リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー

and you'll see what I mean.

Anyway, he started hearing that

and mind you he's been listening to that ever since beginning of the game.

And that "burn my bread" music stuff was just a way to censor vaporwave.

Because it was illegal in 12 states. And banned in 42 countries. Japan was one of them.

Oh wait, it's "burn my dread"? Doesn't matter.

Anyway, Minato was listening to the music. And that's why he's so slow.

He's a maniac and a psychopath.

But that's all inside of him, right?

In actuality he's a sociable fellow that's been cyberbulled to think he's so emo freak that

is about kill people with his looks.

...wait, he has a tragic past? NO, that's also part of censorship in persona 3

yes persona 3 was censored a lot, okay? It was so edgy that some stuff needed to be

censored by even edgier stuff.

Anyway, he's been hearing to music vaporwave and so far as enjoying it.

Duh.

Until he heard one in which the lyrics spewed out

"do you not understand, it's all in your hands?"

and minato is like OMG.

This music is right, he's never been so thankful to a music ever in his life.

And then he knew what he had to do.

He didn't listen to his frineds cause they didn't help him anyway

anyway, he went to ryoji and like "fuk u"

and then all waited until the day they would fight

fucking DEATH itself.

Holy fuck.

Anyway, minato and I guess others defeated nyx super duper goddess of blackdarkdankness666

and then he heard the vaporwave.

And then he started flying to the vaporwave.

And he meet his final boss.

The final boos.

Was an egg.

From howtobasic. For fuck sa-

anyway he defeated and I guess he defeated dark hour.

He flew down like jesus. Minato is actually jesus.

I know takaya is known for being jesus.

But no one is better at being jesus than minato, ok?

Anyway everything was piece and quiet.

And minato stopped listening to vaporwave.

Because he got bored of it.

UNTIL.

The graduation ceremony.

He hasn't listened to vaporwave in a long time

and from started feeling like shit.

Also that egg final boos, gave him radiation poisoning.

So yeah, he's kinda meant to die there.

Anyway, after freaking dying like a douche before his friends arrived,

aliens picked up on something strange.

Yess, it may come to you as a shock, but not only is that minato is gay

but aliens existed in persona universe all this time.

Not in shin megami tensei okay? Don't get confused.

Yes, aliens by the name of hagakureon.

Not to be confused with hagakure bowl thing.

They look at people with potential and let them have another chance at life.

And so after being abudcted by aliens, minato wakes up and they say that minato can live

again, but has to go the past as a penalty.

Also, results may wary, beut you may forget your memories

only 2% chance of having your memories intact.

That's what they said.

And minato said sure and then went of to live another life.

A different life. A crazy life full of fucking being fucking mentally crazy.

….

but there's something that is about to shock you even more

these hagakureons exist in real life.

And they have infected our minds as we speak.

What they did is they made us believe that minato didn't die in persona 3

and that we have to write crappy fanfics on how he's being revived and to have a second chance.

It's scary, but how do I know this? Well, it's because I was able to escape that polluted mind

and tell you everything.

Anyway, that's the jist of it. If anyone writes a fanfic with a beginning such as

"follow minato and him being to live fucking again"

and there's nothing we can do for him now. That person is a living husk

with a condition called

"The Minato Insanity"

and it's a scary insanity.

…

but hey, that's just a theory, a minato theory, thanks you all so much for arisatoing.

So, uh, thanks for reading this awesome new fic newcomers.

Clearly, this took time to reaserch and put together so, please review.

And if you liked this theory, then you're a lucky dude.

Because for every review this theory gets, you will get your very own

and this is not scam.

An evoker to evoke your persona and stuff, just be careful when you get it though

because some people might think you have a gun and are trying to commit suicide.

So yeah.

And to repeat guys this. Is not. A SCAM.

And also for every 1 follow/favorite you can get a...a. Minato plushie dollie.

I don't care if you're 8 years old, you will get it and you will like it,

now I can go relax, after successfully cheating the fanfiction net algorithm.

And tune in next time where I talk about how yukari is a tsundere.


End file.
